So, this week will be my last week of school and I am starting to think I am more strange than most. This is because i am really not looking forward to it. I mean, the break from the kids will be nice but I am better when i have a routine and some security. So, moving into a summer with no real schedule and no job is not appealing to me. Therefore, i am trying to find things to occupy some of my time.
First, I am looking for a job. I have already started applying and hopefully something will come through quickly so that I am not anxious about it all summer. Second, I am going to make the gym a daily thing and on days when I have nothing else going on a two time a day thing. Third, I have signed up for some professional development. I am going to go to some training every week. This will take up a half to a whole day once or twice a week, boost my resume, and meet my requirements for certification renewal. Fourth, I am searching for a part time job a few days a week. It may come through, it may not but one can hope. Finally, once I have secured employment, I need to look for a new living situation. So, all in all I am trying to fill my summer with productivity on a professional level.
On the personal side, I am hoping to spend some time with SB and my family. Usually I move my things to Tuscaloosa and call it a summer. This year, I am not doing this which is weird but I am sure I will survive. So, hopefully some long weekends volunteering and hanging out will suffice. As far as my family, I think I have some training lined up in Mobile that will merge seeing the family and getting some work hours. Then there is ATL. I definitely need to spend some time getting to know the newest addition to the family. I feel like I don't know her at all and she is my namesake after all.
So, that is my outlook. I am not excited about the uncertainty or the lack of schedule or the lack of spending all of my time in one place. It really makes me anxious. However, I feel confident that my proactive approach to dealing with the negative will help to make it positive.
So, here is to a great last week with my crazy kids and a good summer to follow...
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
I got Nothin
Yeah so, I am not too busy tonight for a change. So, I had a conversation with J, Anna, and Ray who are all reasonably intelligent people. Now, I love a good, intelligent conversation about the world, social issues, etc. However, the more I have, the more I realize how daunting things are and how I nor anyone else I know has a real idea of how to make it all better. Dealing with the issues of racism, poverty, crime, classism, ect. there are just no really good answers. I mean, I don't like having to pay for people to continually work the system. However, I don't want to abandon kids who are here and didn't ask for the situation. Rock and hard place. I don't want to see American jobs placed overseas because labor is cheaper. However, I don't want to pay $200.00 a pair of shoes that used to be 65 because an American worker demands 50K a year to watch a computer for 8 hours while a Chinese person will do it for 10K. Again, no easy answer. How does one solve these problems?
Well, I don't believe the current state of affairs will ever lead to any reconciliation and I also think that one must sometimes strive for better while knowing that some things have always been and will quite possibly always be. I mean, I strive daily to help children with no sense of direction, no moral compass, and no idea of what Alabama even looks like on a map to believe that they can be more than a Walmart employee and they can make a decent living by legal means. Why is this such an uphill battle? Why is it so hard to see that education could be your way out? Well, bc they are integrated and socialized by everything around them to believe that dealing drugs leads to a good rap deal and if you are a good bball player you can go pro. They are raising themselves bc their parents are 30 and they are 15. They have never received respect bc they believe that it is something that can be demanded, not earned. So, again, I face a never ending cycle of watching children make the same errors their parents have made. And it is hard to tell a kid that their parent(this is often times a hero to a kid) is not the kind of person they want to be. Thus, I take on this fight everyday knowing that there are no easy answers and that more than half of the kids I work so hard for will remain in this cycle and probably raise the next generation of that cycle. I often ponder ways to change an entire culture in a positive manner to end such cycles and really, it always just hurts my brain. The truth is, there have always been poor. There have always been immoral. There have always been crime. So, maybe I should just accept that there will always be those things.
Then I look at the situation in Tuscaloosa where there are so many poor people who have nothing. They are now totally dependent on the good will of others and I know that though it may be an up hill battle, there have to be people willing to take that challenge and make the differences in society where they can. If not, what are we all really here for. I mean, I consider myself the working poor bc I live paycheck to paycheck. But, I have a paycheck. If I know a better way, it is my moral responsibility not just as an American citizen, but also as a human being to try to light that path for other people.
So, after pondering these issues, I believe that I have decided it is not easy and hell, the truth is I don't know anybody with any real answers to most of these problems. However, it is the responsibility of the intelligent, compassionate people of the world to do what we can, when we can, to try to make a difference. Whether that difference is one child at a time, one tree limb at a time, or one donated plate at a time so that one day we as humans can leave this world knowing that it is a little brighter than it was before we entered.
And yes, I do realize that I answered none of the worlds problems.
Well, I don't believe the current state of affairs will ever lead to any reconciliation and I also think that one must sometimes strive for better while knowing that some things have always been and will quite possibly always be. I mean, I strive daily to help children with no sense of direction, no moral compass, and no idea of what Alabama even looks like on a map to believe that they can be more than a Walmart employee and they can make a decent living by legal means. Why is this such an uphill battle? Why is it so hard to see that education could be your way out? Well, bc they are integrated and socialized by everything around them to believe that dealing drugs leads to a good rap deal and if you are a good bball player you can go pro. They are raising themselves bc their parents are 30 and they are 15. They have never received respect bc they believe that it is something that can be demanded, not earned. So, again, I face a never ending cycle of watching children make the same errors their parents have made. And it is hard to tell a kid that their parent(this is often times a hero to a kid) is not the kind of person they want to be. Thus, I take on this fight everyday knowing that there are no easy answers and that more than half of the kids I work so hard for will remain in this cycle and probably raise the next generation of that cycle. I often ponder ways to change an entire culture in a positive manner to end such cycles and really, it always just hurts my brain. The truth is, there have always been poor. There have always been immoral. There have always been crime. So, maybe I should just accept that there will always be those things.
Then I look at the situation in Tuscaloosa where there are so many poor people who have nothing. They are now totally dependent on the good will of others and I know that though it may be an up hill battle, there have to be people willing to take that challenge and make the differences in society where they can. If not, what are we all really here for. I mean, I consider myself the working poor bc I live paycheck to paycheck. But, I have a paycheck. If I know a better way, it is my moral responsibility not just as an American citizen, but also as a human being to try to light that path for other people.
So, after pondering these issues, I believe that I have decided it is not easy and hell, the truth is I don't know anybody with any real answers to most of these problems. However, it is the responsibility of the intelligent, compassionate people of the world to do what we can, when we can, to try to make a difference. Whether that difference is one child at a time, one tree limb at a time, or one donated plate at a time so that one day we as humans can leave this world knowing that it is a little brighter than it was before we entered.
And yes, I do realize that I answered none of the worlds problems.
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